June 2nd Thursday :: The Bitch in Your Head - How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic

Speaker: Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez

Event Review by Alexandra Touchaud

Dr Jacqueline Hornor Plumez has identified a truly worrying, and apparently global, social phenomenon – the mean voice of self-doubt that rages inside so many females (articulated as ‘the Bitch in your head’).

For such a seemingly calm and nonplussed character, Dr Plumez’s hard-hitting words cut to the core as she explained that years of gentle counselling of patients, to try not to be so hard on themselves and stop listening to all their negative inner chatter, had NOT worked. So she redefined her approach to shockingly challenge women to ‘stop being a Bitch… to themselves’.

How sad. Sad that this truth of self-imposed negativity seems to affect so many of us.

Last night 80-odd fabulous females were collectively nodding in recognition of their own nasty inner self-critics. And it seems mad. Not to be self-aggrandizing (on behalf of us all) – but surely we are a pretty marvellous bunch of ladies? A roomful of successful professionals in a range of eclectic careers; wonderful women from hugely different backgrounds and cultures and at different life stages, whose journeys of passion, professionalism or partnerships have ended up in Singapore (at PrimeTime!).

Outward appearances would suggest we should be patting ourselves on our backs for having such interesting lives, but instead most of us happily celebrate those across the table, but are down on ourselves. Why?

Dr Plumez challenged us to acknowledge our inner critic that endlessly nags that we are bad mothers, imposters at work, too fat or ugly, and then, most importantly,  advises how to Ditch the Bitch! She provided three simple rules:

1. Act to yourself as kindly as you would to your best friend.

2. Go on a ‘Bitch Hunt’ with friends – to bring this insidious cultural and personal problem into the light.

3. Use positive visualisation to affirm what IS good – and choose to focus on these parts of our bodies, selves and lives.

Sounds simple. I got up this morning, twirled in front of the mirror and only slightly self-consciously sang ‘God, you’re gorgeous’, before tripping over the smirking cat, scooping up the three marauding monster children for crazy-rushed breakfast and headed to the studio to try to muster some inner confidence to reposition myself mid-life from a comms professional to an artiste (with an ‘e’).  Goodbye bitch. You’re fired.


About the Event

The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic

How could you be so stupid?

You shouldn't ask for that.

Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

Don't even try—it'll never work.


If you say things like this to yourself, you've got a Bitch in your head!  And, no matter what your profession, "Bitchy" negative self-talk keeps women from  being as successful as men.

"The Bitch" makes life miserable away from work too: keeping you from feeling like a good parent, enjoying a good night's sleep, or getting the love you want.


A woman with a successful career told me, "Every time I get a consulting job, my Bitch says, 'Can you really do this? Who do you think you are?''" The mayor of a small town said, "I can't even get out of bed in the morning before it starts. I open my eyes and immediately think of all the mistakes I made the day before."

But when women start labeling and personifying this mean voice as The Bitch, they hear it. Then as they begin talking like positive life coaches to themselves, their self-esteem, careers, social and love lives almost magically improve!

Men are usually kinder to themselves about most things.  For example, they tend to only look at what they like in a mirror and not blame themselves when they make mistakes.

So come and learn how to  get rid of The Bitch in Your Head!

Note: due to the sensitive nature of the subject, Jacqueline offers everyone the opportunity to ask questions anonymously. We will provide paper and pencil at the registration desk of the event and collect your questions during networking and/or the presentation. She will answer them during the presentation.

Do you experience a nagging voice in your head that is holding you back? This is your chance to get rid of it: prepare as many questions as you like about any area of your life… parenting, marriage, work or social life!  

About the Author & Speaker

Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez has received both the Distinguished Psychologist and Distinguished Service award from The Westchester County Psychological Association and has received the Bucknell University’s 2015 Service to Humanity award.

She is the author of Successful Adoption, Divorcing a Corporation, and Mother Power. She has appeared on The Today Show and Good Morning America, and her articles have appeared in Ladies’ Home Journal and The New York Times Magazine. She lives in Larchmont, New York.






This event took place on 11 June, 2015 at The American Club. To check out other PrimeTime events, please click here.

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